Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Breakfast Beach Halloween

This was the first year Z actually wanted to dress up and go trick or treating. He's a late bloomer and never wanted to dress up and didn't care much for trick or treating. Still doesn't but I think school has got him a little more interested in it. He was shy asking for candy but it was good time. We beat the rain shower which started right after we made our loop and our friends showed up but we were done and it was pouring rain!

sorry r's tail looks like a wiener! =(

I have been cooking somewhat. Z likes pancakes..or so he says. Everytime I make them he only eats a little but I think he just likes the idea of making them? Sort of like making cupcakes but not.

Sunday morning bfast

Shoyu chicken for the family. I don't eat meat but they rest of my family does so this is for them..

My mental health is suffering severely. Sometimes I am not sure what to do. Now that I am not nursing, I am able to take a half xanax when it gets really bad but I hate taking meds. But I will get severe pain in my stomach from anxiety and almost throwing up from it. Ugh I wish I could make it all stop but half the time I have no idea WHY I have these anxiety attacks. Sometimes I wonder if I should just start smoking weed to help..but I am not much of a smoker and I don't know what's worse, drugs or weed...help!!!!!!! I am trying to keep it together for my family so I can still function but my mind and body is in turmoil..I know part of it is my body and how I hate it. I play Kinect Sports and you can see the video of yourself after you are done and I see how fat I am and it's depressing and I am determined to lose that last 15-20 pounds I have been saying I will lose from the baby..it's almost 2 years..there is no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Time Flies

Time sure does pass quickly as we get older. I remember when I was a kid, weekdays would not go fast enough and weekends would just be too short. Now everyday seems to blend into the next and I have a hard time remembering what last week was like or what the day is. Before I know it, half of October is done, the year is almost over and I feel like it was just the start of 2011! OMG..

The last month has been hectic. Things have gone from bad to worse to better to not better too many ups and downs I can't keep track. I found a blog that really touched strings reminding me that all marriages have a lot of work and the disconnect is not just in my own household. Things CAN be fixed if we can figure things out..there is hope hahaha..thank you Anisa of 10yearsin. For those of you who may be faint at heart, maybe you shouldn't read the blog..it is a blog that has some graphically written sexual acts but the stories about her life is very relate-able to those who want comfort in knowing you aren't the only ones who go through the same things.

Moving on, we just got back from San Francisco visiting my mother-in-law. It was a great trip and much needed. I had forgotten how much I love SF. It brought back all the memories of being 18 and almost moving there. The weather is made for me. I don't know why I live here where its humid and hot. I hope someday we can move there. It's an awesome place and we are so glad hub's mom lives there so we have more reason to visit often. It was really nice to see my favorite lady and her little family. I have very few girl friends who I can really pick up where we left off after so much time has passed..she's one of them. Her little baby is such a cutie!!!

R loves the airplanes..luckily we were there for Fleet week so we got to see blue angels practicing on the pier.

Anyway, we have been doing a lot of beach days, soccer, art, school, football and have been busy but I will do my best to keep posting more often.

Beach days passed out on the way home


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Beach for Days

Summer vacation may be over but the beach days aren't. Z loves the beach so much we go all day on the weekends and sometimes in the late afternoons...makes me really wish we lived a block away from the beach so we wouldn't have to drive and could just walk there. My two little fishes are sooo hilarious and sandy...I think they have permanent sand in their hair...I find it everywhere even after a week hahahaha

So much for cooking...I still am in this awful funk and I don't know what to do so no pics of food AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

but one thing about the summer vacation ending, I get part of my sanity back since Z starts Kindergarten and I don't have the headache of the two boys all day long hahahha I love them but all morning and night I get noooooo time to myself!!! I need sleeeeepppp

this is what my daddy does to me in the mornings hahaha

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Gardening, Beach, Sweets

Really like to make things..I just wished my family ate them all so I wouldn't eat everything and make it that much harder to lose the last 10 pounds! UGH I really need to do something about it but I can't seem to get motivated enough to lose the fat.

I tried making my own beef broccoli and it came out amazing!!! I am so happy. I think I will make it once a week it was so yum..I also made butter mochi over the weekend and it was so yummy even Z ate it. The kids ate it up so fast there wasn't any left for me!

We have been continuing the beach going. It is relaxing. As much as I dislike the mess of the sand afterwards, it really is nice to be outside and have a good time watching the kids play. I am really jealous of them. Sad to say but everytime I see them I wish I could be them. Life is so simple and fun. All they think of is food, play and more play! How nice it must be. I will be sad when the day comes when they are big enough to think things are boring. Right now, everything is fun to them. A cardboard box is fun. AAAAAHHHHH the joys of being a little kid.

Here is my tiny garden I'm growing on the patio. I wish we had more space. So far, I have 1 basil, 3 avocado trees, 2 strawberries, and the 2 hydrangeas that my sister sent for mother's day. She was sweet, she knew it was my fav flower and it's never available on my bday so she sent it early. Thank you!!!!!!!!! I really hope they flourish.

I think I am having issues with life. I don't know what it is. I know it has a lot to do with trying to make ends meet, having no fam here to help like some other people so I can't really work much because I'd never make much more than paying the sitter, living off one person's income, not having any time to spend with each other so it's like trying to maintain a relationship when we have nothing to share anymore..I mean, hubs and I used to do everything together..now we do nothing together. It's both our faults but it's just almost impossible to be able to have any time to do anything together just us when no one is here to watch the kids even for a little bit. I miss surfing together. I haven't surfed since Z was born..he's almost 5. I think I went twice.  How do parents find the time to keep their relationship close when they have no one to watch the kids? I want to know the secret..because I would love to make things the way the were..or at least a little bit more like they were =)

Friday, April 22, 2011


It's up!!! We finally updated the site. It was under construction for years!!!!!! I am so happy we gave it a facelift and it's beautiful!! Just thought I'd mention because I am so very proud of the Vertra team and how far they have come from start to now..=)

Vertra website

Monday, April 4, 2011

Beach, Food, Friends

I have suffered from some crazy sinus infection or eye infection for a month or more..the doctor finally gave me antibiotics..she thought I had a bad allergy but it really was something..my eyes were swollen like I got punched in the face and would bee stuck shut from the gunk every morning. I had styes in both eyes and the last one had three in one eyelid. It was awful and I am finally getting better. My eyes are not so swollen but my sinuses are still a mess..I feel like it kicked the bacteria out of my eyes and into my chest..coughing for days and mucus is horrible and I STILL CANNOT BREATHE OR TASTE things!
not even close to how bad my eyes WERE..this is after I started the antibiotics..

Beach beach beach. The kids would be happy to play in water on the lanai for all they care..but getting them out of the house is key and they have the best time at the beach. Only on these days do I actually realize how lucky we are here..as much as it's hard to survive with the high cost of living and low pay, it's beautiful and while we are here we might as well enjoy the beauty.

I made brown spanish rice with fat-free re-fried beans for dinner the other night..and "ground" tofu to add to it. Was trying to find something to make for dinner with what I had in the kitchen and not leave my house. It came out pretty yummy..=)

Last night was Fresh Market at Fresh Cafe. It was really fun..the kids had a blast and of course they had many aunties and uncles to keep them happy. Z ate more than I ever seen him eat and he was so hungry he was angry waiting for his grass-fed angus burger that took forever..but it was worth the wait. He seriously waited in the front waiting for his burger to be cooked..poor guy! There was an amazing eggs benedict with asparagus..OMG yummm and I am not much of an egg person either!

Aloha for Japan is still going strong. Many local banks and companies are jumping on to help support the campaign. So proud of friends are doing!!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Dinner Tool

So I got an email from Nicole @ Dinner Tool and it was the best email ever..asking if I could link pages. OMFG that website is pretty damned amazing and I am so happy that I got that email. Not because of linking sites, but more because it is one more site that I have to visit daily about food and food ideas! Everyday I look for something new to make or more ideas about dinners..and I used to watch food network everyday but I haven't been watching tv much lately, so I have been running out of ideas on what I feel like cooking!

Thank you for finding me because I am now a happy cook!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Bread Bread Bread

I have been making a lot of bread lately and I think I've perfected the ciabatta bread! The last time I made it is became super soft and even the second day it was so soft I was so happy!

I have tried the honey whole wheat bread but I've made it twice now with different recipes and both times, I think it needed to be better..so off to the kitchen it goes..because I am not happy with the finished product!

We did make pizza the other night..it was nice to try my own crust. It came out really yummy and I am now on the quest to find a recipe that will make a thinner crispier crust. This one came out slightly chewy even though I rolled it out thin. But it tasted yummy..I just wanted a crispier one. Z helped me make the pizza and roll out the dough. It was so cute.

I wanted to thank weelicious for me winning the BIALETTI Aeternum pan!! I threw out all my non-stick pans because of how unsafe/unhealthy they can be and mine were all scratched up. I am so happy and excited to use this pan that is safer! It came in the mail and I was so excited I have never won anything so it was like christmas!!!! And getting cooking things is what makes me extra psyched!!!

thank you again!!!!!!

my boys...they are amazing..i wish they wouldn't grow so fast

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Little We Can Do to Help

My friend's shop and a few other shops are working together to make a shirt to help those in Japan who suffered the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. It is so tragic and we wish there was more that we could do but we don't know what. So they decided to make a shirt and donate all profits to American Red Cross Japan.

Please help support this cause if you can!
here is their story


March 11, 2011

Hawaii’s based GRP HOME CO. has gotten together to raise money for our friends and family in Japan. The ALOHA FOR JAPAN Tshirt will be available at these local retailers in Hawaii and is set to release on Monday March 14 2011. The retail price for this Tshirt will be 20.00 and all profits will be donated towards the Red Cross. Available in Mens Sizes.

Available at the following locations
500 Piikoi Street
Honolulu, HI 96814

1438 Kona St. #B
Honolulu, HI 96814

1050 Ala Moana Blvd.
Honolulu, HI 968`4

880 Kapahulu Ave.
Honolulu, HI 96816

Lets help our friends and family in Asia in this great time of need.

Aloha for Japan

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Beach Days are Here

This past weekend we went to the beach and it was really fun. As much as I hate being sandy and dirty and salty, I love how beautiful it is at the beach and the water is clear and it makes me smile. R loves it so much he just charges the ocean even if it's too deep! Crazy! Z on the other hand, is cautious and stays close to shore and loves to walls on the sand and make little pools. I am not obsessed with the ocean and want to take R there all the time. Free fun and gets the energy out. He's a bundle of energy I don't know what to do with him most of the time. I am trying my hardest to save money and not spend anything..times are extremely tough right now financially..it's the most stressful time in my life. I am back to my 18 year old days of having a roommate and only being able to eat pasta noodles with parm cheese and quesadillas..but it's not so bad because I love those things but health wise, i don't think it's all that healthy! HAHAHAHA I hope we can look back on these times and be grateful for everything else!

MY friend who got married and R at Lanikai beach

An old girlfriend of mine got married and it was probably the best wedding I've ever been to. I love them and am so happy for her. She is probably one of the few (and I mean FEW) actually best girl friends I know and even when I don't talk to her or see her for a really long time, we still pick up exactly as if time had never passed. I miss having my best girlfriends to hang out with..I only have 1 (maybe 2) here and the other few live in other states. That makes me really sad but we all grow up! LOL

Z, the ultimate photographer

My everyday life has been stressful and not. I feel like I'm in a funk that I can't get out of. A part of me dislikes myself. The outside and inside. I know that knowing is half the battle, but I don't know how to fix it or change myself to make myself a better person so I can actually like myself...=( SAVE ME

Thursday, January 27, 2011

No Stand Mixer Ciabatta Bread

So I wanted to make bread for a while just haven't gotten around to it. I think I miss being at the bakery but I can't go back..not for a long time..the labor work is tough on the body and after the car accident, I don't know if my back will be happy with the heavy labor work at the bakery..

Anyway, I decided to make ciabatta bread so I can make sandwiches..only problem, they came out so yummy we have been ripping off pieces and eating them plain!!!!!! It was easy to make and I used my hands since I didn't have a stand mixer..and it came out yummy and chewy and just AWESOME!!