Thursday, January 6, 2011
Growth
As time passes, sometimes I wonder if people don't have at least 1 thing they do together all the time, will they grow into completely different people in the end? I know they say you need to grow together..change together..so I wonder if there is an exception to that rule. There usually isn't an EXCEPTION..but when I become more reclusive and homey..and my other half still remains social and wanting to be out there in the crowd, what will happen in the end? Sometimes I think it is possible that things won't matter..but I can't help but feel the sadness and feelings like I have nothing and no one when the other half of us has the total opposite life..it makes me feel like I'm lesser and missing something that I don't have..not sure if that makes any sense. I have goals in my head, thinking of my future..focusing on things I need to do to survive and keep life afloat and being a mother.....that in itself takes up all my time. But my other half is doing just that, but doing it while continuing his own life a part of work and part of just himself....I feel like I'm lame and such a loser for having nothing outside of my home and future aspirations.....i really have no close friends who actually live here..aside from 1 whom I hardly see these days with conflicting schedules of parenthood on both sides..I'm a far cry from having a life like my other half.....and I don't think I want to either..but it makes me feel like the road we are both on are going to lead us to two completely different endings..maybe i'm just being my anxiety crazed self overthinking it and making myself sink in a black hole of mental crazy. But I needed to just get this out of my head so I can sleep....UGH
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6 comments:
LEt it out girl! I think we all feel this way in some form or another because the future is uncertain. Your not alone!
But you should be very happy to have a beautiful family and home.
I know I'm a anti social flake but I'm right down the street! I have no friends too and stay home every night.=)
I hate to hear you feel this way so I am sending you good wishes and a good night of rest!
OYASUMINASAI LOVE!
you are invited to follow my blog
thank you t!! we should do soemthing sometime..
I don't think you're crazy or lame. I think we always have uncertainties and we're always haunted by certain worries. But blogging can be a good place to voice our worries! It's also important to not get too wrapped up in comparisons. I mean opposites attract & as long as you're comfortable with your small social network & daily life, then you certainly don't have to try to expand your network and be like your other half. And he's your other half; you're both going to grow & change, but he's going to take you with him & you'll take him with you wherever you go. I think even when you feel miles aways physically or figuratively, you're connected...
I'm not sure I'm making sense or being mildly helpful, but I'm in a long distance relationship right now & I rather feel like it's hard to be apart from people you love, but not impossible. And distance comes in many forms, but doesn't mean you lose intimacy.
rebecca, you sound a hundred times more mature than most people i know! LOL
oh how i still love using that belt you gave me hahaha i so need to send you something
I can understand how you feel.You feel the need to socialize more.You are also apprehensive about the future.Then you also want to evolve,do something in addition to what you are doing.Is it the circumstances or your own inhibitions that are holding you back?IT WOULD BE NICE IF WE COULD CHAT ON ORCUT OR GMAIL.Meanwhile why dont you go through my blogs at http://jeeteraho.blogspot.com,they are sure to help you.Do let me know what you feel about my comment.
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