Sinking or floating

Sinking or floating.... Not sure which but either of them means im just exising and not living

What do you do when you have no one. No one to rely on. Not a shoulder to count on to be the rock when you really need it? What becomes of a person when it's just you. All alone. Not physically since there will always be bodies present in company. Just emotionally and mentally. What happens. I think we lose our own sanity sometimes. I've always been a private person. Maybe having one person who I always stuck with. But even that as I grow older I have lost because the few close friends I have aren't even near me now. I think I'm mentally missing the part of life that includes human interaction other than babies and toddlers. Literally been 5 years since I've been my own person and I don't really know who I am or what I like anymore. Funny how being so isolated and given the full role as a parent has cost me giving up my brain hahaha. No really. I always devote all my time to one thing. Be it school friend kid boyfriend job whatever but I always could only focus on one thing and put all my efforts in it but it's my downfall and I've made myself this way. Partly because I want to make everyone else happy and accommodate everyone else's time and schedule and put my own self qt the bottom of the list. Five years can really do a number on a mental state. Having no one to remind me that im just as important as everyone else so take care of you first once In a while makes it hard to always remember. And more so on one who has anxiety and social issues. Omfg. Funny I can know that but not know the way to right it. I need to run or something. Fuck it