Saturday, September 15, 2012
Bottomless rock bottom
I can no longer handle the things I could before. Amazing how much I could deal with all at once when I was younger and how it has broken down my mind so much that I may be stronger but my insides have taken the beating. Just because we may look strong or act strong, it doesn't mean we really are. Maybe I've hit rock bottom. I'm sure there's an even deeper rock bottom from here. My mind is a giant storm and my heart feels black and empty. As I've gotten older I noticed I've grown a lot harsher and cold hearted. Where once I would be so emotionally attached to things and now easily turn my head and let it go. A huge part of my entire selfI've always known is slowly disappearing and I am not sure it's a good thing. Gaining something and losin another doesn't make it equal. I am always wandering and need guidance, support, and strength. more than i can give myself. Everyone needs a giant banyan tree to lean on. Even the giant needs support and branches to wrap itself around when you're lost. I'm lost.