Sunday, August 25, 2013

Love My Kids

I love love love my kids. As much as I feel like I go crazy and feel angry and grumpy, I find so much happiness in them. Everytime I look at them I tear up thinking how sad I'm going to be when they don't want to be near me anymore or hold my hand and hug me. I wish I could keep them this small forever and I could just hold them all day. This past month has been trying but it also left me with some clarity that I needed so badly and with that came this giant relief that I could actually stop being so grumpy towards my kids and have more patience to handle the crazy they bring. I do hope this Patience will stick around long so I can continue this awesome pattern we have going. My kids have been amaingly awesome. This year has brought so many changes to their routine and me actually being serious about getting them on the right path to become good humans in the future. Z has grown so much since then. I can't believe it when I see him do things on his own everyday that just six months ago he wouldn't even brush his teeth t the sink or argue with me about it. Now he's just there doing it without me asking most of the time. I can rest knowing that he can do this on his own if I weren't there for some reason.  We've settled into a nice routine of homework, washing hands, brushing teeth, eating more healthy(try), limiting iPads, being outdoors and showering.  I'm one proud mama these days. Shows how much kids can learn quickly if you just put the time in to mold them.  

Been very very thankful for some good friends who have been living their lives all these years but have always been there in the background even when years had passed and we hasn't talked. I totally needed the support and advice and strength these few weeks and I don't know if I could have been sane without them. 

The light in town was gorgeous:

R enjoying the Friday night fireworks in Waikiki. Pure happiness 😍
My daily breakfast the last few months =)

Monday, August 19, 2013

Inappropriate Behaviors

To the husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend who thought that it was ok to act like you are single when you have a family, it is NOT ok. 

It MAY be ok if it is mutually agreed that you BOTH are allowed to act that way but not if only one of you is acting that way and the other isn't or even allowed to do the same.  Even if you're miserable and unhappy in a relationship, you do not act inappropriately out of respect for that person and your family. If you're unhappy and hate someone, leave them, break up with them, or divorce them. Acting out of bounds is not ok, especially if you both have said cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone.  Inappropriate actions and situations are going to get you there.   You are not allowed to disrespect someone in a way that would make you angry if they were to do what you are doing. It is totally OK to have friends of the opposite sex, close friends with whom you talk to and chill with. But it is not ok when you continue to put yourself in situations where it would put you in question on the outside from others who would see it and question your actions.  For jokes to be made about "pissing off both your wives" by your supposedly "best friends" who are of the opposite sex, to have text and chat messages every single day about meeting for lunch, coffee, and drinks after work every night for over a year and not having to account for where you been and with whom to your family at home is a definite lack of respect.  The ultimate actor, portraying the tired, stressed, super busy role to people so they think you're just hard at work. That in turns has broken trust and has taken full advantage of having freedom you never earned. It may be ok if your other half does the same thing you are doing and it doesn't bother either of you. But if you're going to be pissy and have a shitty attitude about your other half making friends of the opposite sex and make them feel guilty for even having that friendship, you are NOT allowed to do the same thing that you would be upset about.  If you look at yourself and what you're doing, and think, "Hey, if they did this to me, I'd be upset", then don't do it. Selfish and self centered people don't belong in relationships. Relationships mean compromise, sacrifice, trust, respect, and love. 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Beach life

Plans with kids never go as planned. Woke up early to pick up a friend and go get us a plot at the community garden. Then planned a hike. Little did we know it was going to take two hours, scorching hot weather before we could get a spot. Kids were losing it and I was too. But, we got the spot, key in hand, and lots of plans. Hiking was out of the question after making two little kids wait for two hours so we decided on beach day!  We had planned to go to turtle bay since we wanted to try a mellow spot for the kids to snorkel but on our way there we got hit with the craziest traffic and had to turn around. Drove the other direction to head to baby maks and what was supposed to be a 30 minute drive to the beach ended up an hour!! By the time we got there the kids were going crazy but they were happy. It was a nice day to just sit back and let my body recharge from the week. Let it rest and let my achilles and shins heal. Definitely need to find more time to be around good people who will improve the quality of life and make you realize that you need to respect yourself and do something for you sometimes. =)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Outdoor Rain Workouts

Running in the rain is one of my favorites. I don't know why maybe because its chilly and gloomy and makes me less hot. All that goes on is trying to push through it and getting somewhere. Rain for the day on the other hand, not so fun because there isn't much else to do with two little boys who need to get energy out or they will drive me nuts a d eat everything in the house. 

My friend and I planned a 6a hike to some secret place she went on a week before but this crazy weather appeared the night before and wouldn't let up. Hiking in the rain in my opinion is little too dangerous because of all the mud and not being able to see ahead. The problem is once he alarm goes off, I can never go back to sleep or it will take a few hours to fall back asleep and then the kids will wake up and it'd be too late. So we decided to just go to the easy hike that had a paved path so we could at least go outside and make use of us being up already. It was probably one of the most fun times ever. Cold and windy. Good conversation and the only time I feel like I can escape the ugliness I have to deal with on a daily basis. This lack of respect and common courtesy has really taken its toll on me. If only I had more time in the days everyday to do something that would help clear my head.

How can you teach an old person to be respectful and caring?  It's already hard to teach your little kids that.. stubborn, old and egotistic = impossible to help.  The most frustrating part is the lack of respect for other people and things that aren't his and the irresponsibility.  That gets me everytime.  How do you grow up not treating things with care and making sure you return things you borrow in the same condition if not better, than when you got it?  Or putting other people first once in a while ahead of your own wants and needs?  And the mentality is childish where he bad mouths friends who has relationships where they respect their partners and check in and do stuff saying things like "oh, he's stuck in this" or "she makes him do all kinds of stuff that's why he calls all the time" etc etc, but he's seriously lacking the understanding is that's what people do when they respect someone.  My own parents taught me that growing up.  Just make sure they knew where I was and with who or if I were late, to make sure they know so they don't worry.  My husband has no clue.  I don't make him do any of it because he wouldn't like it.  Yet, he doesn't seem to get how lucky that is.  That I never question him or say "When are you coming home?" "where are you" "Who are you with" etc etc..he takes advantage of his freedom and yet doesn't ever appreciate it.  Yet he never stops to think, I should let her know I'm either late or early today so she can plan the rest of her night.  I can never know if I can run or not because he never cares to let me know that he's late or coming early.  Sitting there feeding kids dinner every night wondering if I should just relax and make a drink, or throw on the running clothes and get ready to go when he gets home.  Never caring about what someone else may be thinking nice it must be to live this carefree life and not have to answer to anyone.  That's the life of a single person.  Not a person who has a wife and kids.  But then again, my own fault for letting him do this to us.

Keep in mind, my hubby isn't so awful and a lot could be worse =)
He doesn't hit me and has always supported me in my interests..granted, he doesn't help me unless I say I NEED AN HOUR FOR THIS THING I HAVE TO DO and I plan and schedule it way in advance to make sure its ok with HIS schedule, he never says YOU CAN"T RUN OR HIKE and he never complains to me about my changing interests in buying and selling stuff to make money.  So in all that, at least I am free to do things like that as long as it's not affecting his life/schedule/wants, I can do them....I can't come and go as I please with that freedom and no one to yell or question what I am doing like he has....but at least I don't have him be this way and then also tell me I can't buy this or that or do certain things....=)  Have to take the tiny positives that I can, right?

Motivational shirts from runlikeagirlbc make me happy
Waterfalls on the highway

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

On The Outside

Got to hike with my outdoor partner for the first time in almost 4 months. Maybe longer. She hurt her knees on our annual 10k race and was out of commission for a long time. We went to the falls this past Saturday and it was so nice to get back into the groove. Lots to catch up on and lots more forests to see!! 

Jump into the ice pond!

The next day I went on another hike with an awesome girl I met on the hiking group a few weeks ago. She took me to a nice one. It was awful desert hot but at the top was a nice forest and view worth hiking for.  It was an intermediate hike and was pretty good that I hope I can join some of the advance hikes that have been coming up soon. So many new places I want to explore but I am unsure of my level of hiking ability and would hate to hold anyone back.  Its so nice to try new places with people who know the trails so I can go again on my own the next time, or explore and see where I can start running them on my own. My next and future goal is to start trail running on top of regular road runs and hiking. I need to get off this rock sometimes. So many mountains to see. Definitely added to a list of things I must do before I die. 

She's a better hiker than I am :

Morning drives