My Loves younger brother died in a car accident on Friday and it really has thrown this month into a strange time for all of us. My heart hurts for his family. His parents who had already lost another son years ago in the same way must be heartbroken and confused why this would happen again.
I am a natural worrywart already but now it's even scarier. Just thinking of someone getting in a car scares me. It also makes me think of the long commute from Vegas to California I did every week for four months. How scary that was for my own parents. I'm so glad I no longer do that drive. Having to drive the kids over there his weekend and do a quick turnaround to make it back to work really scared me. All the times I drove exhausted from working 5a-12p and driving straight to vegas from there. Anything could have gone wrong.
I worry about Love now more than ever. It happened twice now and his dad getting hit on his motorcycle last year just adds to the "cursed" feelings and I want to have him by our side always. It's so hard to stop worrying about the things you can't control when it's about people you care about. But if we always worry we would never experience life. I understand that but I still have anxiety thinking all those thoughts.
My kids have so much to look forward to and such a great life ahead of them. We want to be there to teach them and show them the world and life filled with amazing things. Not make them paranoid that something bad will happen hahahaha
Everyone has been so supportive and offering to help out as much as they can. I'm so grateful. One of my favorite friends from work has been the lovely smile in my day. She came and dropped off a plant for me knowing I was worried and sad in an empty home for the week. She got me an aloe but really wanted to get a cactus because she said it represented me. Cacti being resilient. She's awesome.
My old friend from JetBlue who I haven't seen in years. She's been a good friend for over 12 years but we don't have to speak to each other and pick up where we left off every time. She was driving through on a vacay with her son and she planned it weeks ahead to meet for a few hours but this tragedy happened that same morning. She said I don't care if I see you for 30 minutes. I'll take it. It was so nice to see her and let the boys play like they've been friends forever. Loveeeee
Lesson for his month. Live life love everyone who shares love because life is short and we don't want to go with regrets and sadness.