Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Lost in Thoughts

Been feeling very out of sorts these days. I know when I've got a lot on my plate and feel overwhelmed when I start pulling my hair and biting my nails down til they are painful. It's been ongoing for a few months and got worse when I had my kidney infection.

Kidneys. Let's not even get deep into this issue. Just knowing that I was on two rounds of different antibtiocs before they got my results back that was an uncommon one and both were not going to work for what I had which was why I felt so much pain for so long and exhausted all day. On the correct one round three. Felt like I was becoming normal again and once it was done, a few days later the symptoms started coming back again. I had to leave work early (and get talked to for it =( ) so I could make the walk in cut off time (after crying and arguing about being seen) and they tell me to go back on the same one that was working until they get my results back five days later. Finally find out I have the same infection and I have to stay on this for the rest of the ten days. I said what happens if it comes back? She says then I get referred to a specialist. I said I can't be on antibtiocs for months! She said finish this round first and we see from there. Ugh I hate having this awful insurance. Crossing fingers it gets better. 

Besides the infection, I've been battling my head on life and what i want to do with it. I feel like a crazy girl who never can figure out what I want to do and what I'm working towards.  I'll get into something and want to master it. Once there, I get to a point where I'm wondering "now what?" And I get bored and want to move on. And when this happens I get down and disappointed because I can't figure out where or what I want to do with myself. Arggggg

There has been so much going on in and out of daily shit and I cannot even begin to grasp all or write down in words what is happening these days. It's just been a to of things flying at us in all directions and I just want to lie down and sleep for a while. Hahahaha

Other than that, life is awesome. It really is. Our life as a family is the one thing I can hold on to and smile about. Everything else, well, it is just noise. 

Can't wait til things settle down and we get the ball moving on what we have in our thoughts and plans. 

Science experiments 

Kids helping Mat work 

Mandatory workouts for work meetings

Helping out on days off =) ❤️
  
We've had family visiting us for weeks since July with possibly a week in between every time. It's actually been nice and the kids are happy to have family visit. It's just been non stop busy with work on both sides that we haven't had downtime. Love asked them to watch the kids for a few hours and surprised me for on a date before they left.  It was so sweet. We hadn't had time to ourselves like that. It's a rarity so it was fun. He took me to dinner and watch my works softball team for a bit. It was so cute. I'm lucky. I really am.